How To Overcome Imposter Syndrome
What makes a thing, a thing? Is it a definition? A title? Social confirmation or acceptance?
When it comes to any goal, role, or position social support or rejection will play a factor in our success.
We can all agree that it is valuable to have people in your corner that believe in you throughout your journey and think you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread. Likewise it should be expected that you will have those that may not see the vision, or are outright doubtful that you can reach or sustain whatever success you seek.
As the saying goes, “You are never as good as they say you are, and you are never as bad as they say you are”. But what about what you say about you? What do you think about you?
René Descartes once coined the Latin phrase: Cogito ergo, sum. - I think, therefore I am.
In this I find that a belief in your ability to achieve a goal, to exist in a state of success is often dependent on your belief that you can and will achieve this success. In order for you to stay there, you must believe that you actually deserve to be there.
As a first generation college graduate, engineer, and first in my family in my industry, I have had many experiences dealing with imposter syndrome. Through my time both in college and my career I have met countless people that have or had imposter syndrome. This is not limited to just those early in their story either.
I have experienced people at seemingly the highest levels of their career who have shared stories where they found themselves in rooms they initially felt under qualified for. With this in mind it is critical to learn how to understand and ultimately overcome these doubts.
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter Syndrome is an internal belief that one’s success or status is undeserved or thus makes the party in question a fraud. As such, a fear that others will come to the same conclusion about them and reject them is always present. It doesn’t just show up at work, but also in our personal relationships, family structures, and friendships. Imposter Syndrome shows up in many ways:
- Reluctance in asking for help
- Rejecting compliments as pandering
- Reacting to constructive criticism as personal attacks
- Taking on too much on your plate to “prove yourself”
- Fear of taking on new opportunities
- Deferring ownership to others too often
Ways to Deal with Imposter Syndrome
In order to overcome imposter syndrome you must come to terms with the root of your self-doubt. You must complete 3 steps along this path: Identify, Disrupt, Redirect.
1. Identify
By seeking the root of your self-doubt, you can more effectively see when it shows up in your life. You can also get an understanding of what spaces, places, or people trigger these feelings or actions. You must also become aware of what you do, how you feel, and possibly how people experience you as a result of your imposter syndrome.
2. Disrupt
Once you have identified when and where your self-doubt shows up, you can now make efforts to disrupt those thoughts and/or actions. Do your best to acknowledge in the moment and use breathing exercises, mantras, or step away from the situation briefly to reset if need be. Try your best not to make any rash decisions in the heat of the moment. You should also develop anchors that ground you in the truth of your value add. These anchors can be sayings, a post-it note with a quote, or a series of questions you process through to de-escalate your thoughts.
3. Redirect
Habits are not removed, they can only be replaced. You reclaim a lot of your power for good when you speak life into yourself and others. Incorporate affirmations into your morning routine. Complete consistent practices that assert your value to yourself, such as rewarding yourself for progress and celebrating even your small wins. Give attention to or build relationships with others who can reaffirm these positive habits as well. Limit your exposure to vices or spaces that reinforce feelings of mediocrity. Therapy is extremely valuable in managing this experience in the healthiest manner.
When we are called to an assignment in life often times these come along with a fear of being under-qualified. “Who am I to be great?” But you must ask: who am I not to be great? You most likely made it this far because the reality of the value you bring shines bright regardless of your perception of it. You are needed in many of the spaces you enter, and your willingness to see the better in you will often give others the permission to do the same. So claim your greatness, beloved.